I have felt for a long time that I have an undeveloped gift of writing. Many times I have set goals to write a particular number of blogs in a year and have fallen well short each time such a goal has been set. There is something vulnerable about putting your personal thoughts out for the world to see. Every time a blog is posted it is a breeding ground for insecurity and doubts. “Will anyone appreciate what I have to say?” “Is what I have to say a waste of time for readers?” “What will people think about the parts of me that I share here that I haven’t shared with anyone else?”
Vulnerability is a word that gets tossed around a lot when talking about writing and it is true, there is a vulnerability that goes along with putting your thoughts out for the world to see. It was pointed out to me recently that even people you completely trust, if you are vulnerable with them, that just means they know how to hurt you more than anyone else. If you think about how many people actually know you—your fears, your struggles, the things that bring you joy, the areas of success you wish you had, etc.—you might be able to only count those people on one hand. I know I am not in need of a second hand when counting those people.
Because of the vulnerability that comes with writing I have not posted a blog in months. In fact, this is probably the longest I have gone without posting a blog since I created my blog in 2008. This doesn’t mean that I haven’t written anything in the last 7 months, it just means that I haven’t written anything that I had enough confidence in to post it for the world to see. There are a number of labels you can put that under (whether fear, insecurity, laziness, or others), but I realize that I have been a little selfish with my thoughts in general. Until recently I would remain as silent as possible in meetings, only offering my words when requested. But I have realized that I have been selfish. I have realized that maybe thoughts come to me and words pair together in my head in such a way that are meant to be viewed by others.
So here is the remedy: I have accepted a 500 word challenge. The 500 word challenge is that every day for 31 days I must get up and write 500 words and without editing I must post it. So for the next 31 days you will be getting unfiltered thoughts on paper from the mind of Jordan Curtis. By no means do I expect everyone to read all of my thoughts, but any kind of feedback is welcome. I want to know what kinds of things resonate with you and what things you could do without hearing. So here it is: my first 500 words.